Missing In Action
by Nomannic
Summary: I was in the back alley-way streets of Midgar on the fith plate. I knew where I was because I had been here before. Four years ago. Sephiroth/OC/Cloud. ABANDONED. UP FOR ADOPTION.
1. Wishing for Wings

**Wishing for Wings**

I gathered my things from my locker. Today was the last day I would ever see it. I had graduated highschool, finally. I was finally leaving this damned place.

A group of three boys and five girls walked up. A girl with brown hair cut in a strange slant dipped in purple, with brown eyes, skinny jeans and a MCR T-shirt was wrapped in the arms of a boy with long red hair and a tye-dye T-shirt. His green eyes watched me steadily. I subconsciously rubbed my wrist when I looked at him. I had known Aaron since fifth grade, and we had become close friends very fast. I told him everything, but at that age, I had told everyone everything. He was just the only one who didn't betray me.

He was the only one who ever talked to me.

He was the only one I still trusted.

"Hey, girl," A girl correctly nic-named Candy said. I had happened to know the skinny, blonde and blue-eyed petite cat-person since fourth grade. We used to be best friends, but we also used to be enemies. Now she thinks she's my friend, but no.

No one who won't trust you.

No one who you can't trust.

No one who lies, betrays and steals for you.

Against you, too you.

Are your friends.

"So you gonna go publish those fifty-eight novels you got collectin' dust…?" An indian-decent girl named Gypsy asked. Her brown eyes laughed. I had known her since fifth grade. We had been close friends, the closest, until she had met Carmen. The only thing they still trusted me with, which they didn't have a choice about not trusting me with it anymore, was the fact that they were 'in the closet' if you catch my drift.

Yep. They had started dating last year, I had stumbled onto them making out hardcore, and now neither of them looked at me with anything other than shame. They acted like servants, or enemies, but never friends.

"No," I replied simply. Aaron nodded. He got it.

"Why not? You're nearly as good as Orson Scott Card!" Kyle, a blonde, blue-eyed, hyper-active sociopathic boy who had also used to be a friend exclaimed. I guess you could consider him something, a connection of sorts to my own demented side, but he was also the kind of person who would snap my neck if given the chance. Kyle was going to end up in jail for murder soon, but we had made a promise along time ago, when I had…

I strayed away from the thought, instead looking to the other three people. Devin, a boy I had fooled around with for three years in a sick, hormone fueled game looked at me with love and with hate as his girlfriend, a girl who preferred to be called Gir, snuggled under his arms. She looked at me with spite. She had loved Devin since they were in kindergarten, or so she claimed, and when she found out about us fooling around, she didn't take kindly to it.

The last was a girl named CJ. In sixth grade a rumor had spread around the school that I was doing drugs, and lying to everyone about my parents, and she had been the one to start them, while everyone thought it was a girl named Kayla who had started them. For two years, I had been close friends with her until she admitted to starting every single lie about me that had ever been told in my entire middle school life. She was still begging for forgiveness, while spreading more rumors.

"It's her choice, Kyle," Aaron said quietly, running a hand through Exene's hair. She smiled up at him, pecking him on the lips.

"Who wants to go to my place for a graduation party?!!" Gitana exclaimed suddenly. I slung my backpack over my shoulder without a word and walked by them.

As I was walking out of the school, Aaron ran up to catch up with me, and stopped me by standing in my way. I gave him a soft smile, figuring that's what he wanted. He wasn't fooled.

"Don't get angry at me, Kairi, I just want to talk."

I suddenly remembered all of those times before highschool when we'd talk constantly. I was always cheering him up, helping him with his problems, or just chatting about with him.

I nodded. I didn't talk much anymore. I had my reasons.

"Look, last year… everything happened so fast, and I'm sorry… but don't forget our deals. Don't forget our promises. Don't forget what I said."

I nodded, and walked past him, fondling the ten necklaces around my neck.

"And Kai!" He shouted. I turned to look over my shoulder at him. "Don't wish for wings!" I gave him a real smile, though it was sad and pained, and turned back around, walking to the bus stop.

* * *

I stared out the window of the city bus, fighting the tears that swelled in my eyes.

Every day, everything that I do, reminds me of my past.

My name is Kairi. I claim no last name. I have my reasons. I have reasons for alot of things.

I grew up an only child between two abusive parents who always fought. Verbally and physically. My life has been threatened many times. The one time I tried to escape it, building a case against social services, my biological mother let out a rescue rope to my biological father by telling them that everything I said was a lie. So, what I had told my friends, when their parents talked to my biological mother, her name is Shelby, was denied, and somehow the entire school thought I was doing drugs and sleeping with people... it seems pitiful now that that would turn all of my friends away, but lies are powerful things. They all hated me because they thought I had lied.

Only my friend Aaron had stayed close to me, still talked to me, and listened to my side of the story.

After middleschool was over, most if had blown over to a certain extent, and most of my old friends acted as if nothing had ever happened, as if every night I didn't have nightmares of their hate-filled gazes, their threats being carried out, and the nights I couldn't sleep because no one believed me about how horrible my parents were.

I started highschool, aspiring to be in the army, and paying for special pre-training then by selling novels. I'm a published author, artist, poet and singer. But no one noticed that all of my horror, all of my tragedy, every demented word I recorded, and blood bathed scene I painted was all from experience, from myself. No one noticed the white scars and bloody wounds that lined my body, or the limits I pushed myself to every night. They all just thought I was a wimp and stayed up all night writing. No, I stayed up all night doing chin-ups, push-ups, sit-ups, running in the rain, practising in the dark with my dagger in the backyards mud pit, and bleeding. The pain was a relief. It kept me distracted from suicide, and the pain during the day, when my biological father was home, his name was Edward.

And so it came as a surprise to everyone when my trainer left me alone for five-minutes with a pistol and I shot myself in the chest.

I was rushed to the hospital, silent. The doctors thought something was wrong when I wasn't screaming as they prepped me for surgery, but my trainer, and my friend Aaron who had got to the hospital at the same time I did, since he was listed as my emergency contact, explained to them my intense training regimen, how I had shot myself, and alot of other things. But just becaus eI didn't scream didn't mean it didn't hurt. Dying, no matter how poets put it, hurt like hell. It felt like my soul was being torn from me. Tears silently streamed down my cheeks as my vision spotted. My last memory was of Aaron reminding me of a promise we had made in seventh grade.

_I sat down at my desk, fiddling with a piece of paper. Aaron took his assigned seat beside me silently, in his usual depressed mood. When I said nothing, he looked over at me._

_I was usually hyper and loud. _

_Now I wasn't. _

_"Can I... trust you?" I asked softly. He nodded. I don't know why, but I just wanted to tell him. I had to tell someone, and he was my only option with all of the rumors going around right now. So I pulled up my pants leg and showed him were I had viciously sliced my leg open with a piece of glass, and stitched the wound together. I had taken off the bandage so he could see. Aaron choked back a gasp._

_"Promise me something, Kairi," he whispered. I looked in his eyes and we both knew what we were promising._

_"I promise I won't kill myself, I'll only die if you do." He nodded. It was a mutual understandment of ourselves and the other. If one died, the other couldn't survive. It was impossible._

I had gone into a coma. What happened in my coma, what I saw... it's what made me this way today. I was in a coma for eighteen months. When I came out of it, I went into physical therapy, and got back into training for the army. I don't know how, but Shelby had convinced them I didn't need psychological help. I still thank her for that. I graduated highschool with a test, but for the last month, I attended the classes anyways because Aaron wanted me too.

And here I am.

* * *

I walked into the house and up the stairs, shoving my bag into my room and onto my simple bed. I turned on the stereo on full volume, shutting and locking my door behind me. I didn't question why Edward wasn't home right now, I just got started working. I was learning how to handle a broadsword just for kicks and to strengthen my arms, but I couldn't lift it. My trainer had assigned me to do push-ups and pull-ups when I was home, so for the next four hours, that's what I did.

* * *

After the sun had set, and I heard Shelby's car pull into the drive-way, I made my way downstairs, grabbed a sandwhich from the fridge, a waterbottle, and a pack of fruit snacks and stuffed them in my shoulder bag. I was picking up my motorcycle tonight. And I was leaving tomorrow.

I walked out the door, ignoring Shelby's chipper and heartless 'Hey, sweety. How was school?'. The idiot didn't even know school was out. I walked past her without a word.

* * *

I handed the man all of the extra money I had been saving up. The mechanic grinned.

"I wondered if you really were gonna come pick up this heap a junk. Most pretty ladies don't like ta get their hands dirty, n' at your age they usually don't like nothin' that don't look nice 'n' shiny." I nodded.

"I ain't most girls." He grinned.

"That's for sure." I realized instantly that he was going to flirt with me and rolled my eyes. I signed my name on the contract, and handed it to him.

"Anything else or can I go?"

"Ah, yeah. Contract with me boss says ya get a free gass card, a free tune up if ya ever need it," I nodded, listening. I wouldn't need the tune-up. I was good with machines. "Oh, and ya get a free cellphone as this months special, with a two-year contract." I grinned. Now that was worth the three-thousand dollars I had put into this bike.

It was a huge machine, with add-ons, and everything imaginable. The old man that owned this place had been a friend for a while. I had worked for him for one-summer, and I had actually started building this bikes engine by myself. It was my own design and everything. It was a powerful bike. It was also considered illegal in some states, including this one. But it wasn't illegal where I was going. Texas. I was going to Texas, to get into my next training program for the army. I was going to be a special-ops. A covert operations officer. Whatever you wanted to call it, three years ago I had signed a contract that said I would cover the 'special' operations of the government, since they rarely could start training someone so young.

I was going to do the president's dirty work. The illegal.

* * *

I sat under the bridge, leaning against my bike which was lain on its side, watching the sunset while I ate. Ducks milled about me, wary of my bike, but still hungry enough to aproach.

My bag was packed. I had my clothes, my sketch books, my prized posessions, a few sets of thumb drives, my weapons, everything I would need, including about five-thousand dollars of cash. Hopefully it could get me from Washington to Texas.

I pulled out my cellphone, holding it curiously. With an extra forty bucks, it had come with unlimited internet access on that contract. The old man really didn't want to be caught with this bike.

I logged on to a website I had used when I was younger. It was called Deviantart. I opened up 'update journal' and titled it 'These Words I'll Never Say'. When Shelby reported my missing persons case, she would label this as one of my most used websites, not knowing a thing about me anymore. She and everyone else would read this. And the police would drop the case once the FBI discovered the case and drop it.

No more questions would be asked.

No one would mourn.

And I could start a new life.

_Dear Mother,_

_I used to love you. I used to be your baby girl. But you made your choice. You chose your lover. I don't blame you. No. I do. But I forgive you. You will face hell, once you face your God in his judging, if that is what will truly happen. But remember, I have been in the devils hands, disguised as fate, since I was born. _

_Dear Father,_

_How many years has it been since you heard me say that word to you without spite? Truth is, no matter what, I still remember you being my Daddy. I still love you, and mommy, in a cold corner of my heart. But I'm killing that corner when I leave tonight. But a quick thing I've always wanted to say: You call this your promise land when children starve, people die, and hell consumes us all? No wonder he is your God. One who picks his favorites, and leaves the rest for the devil. Even the innocent, helpless children._

_And Dear Aaron,_

_Tell the others I forgive them for anything they've done. Tell them I won't miss them. I'll always remember you. And I won't wish for wings. I swear._

With a sad sigh, I turned off the phone, stuffed it in my pocket, and climbed on my bike.

* * *

This procedure was familiar. My new trainer, who said I would be his primary 'project' for the next year wanted to put me through it. I had been through the physical examinations twice, for two different organizations.

Name? Kairi.

I had had it changed on the way here. That phone was a blessing.

Age? Nineteen.

Just out of highschool.

Height? 5' 4"

Just about an inch shorter than everyone else.

Weight? 160.

Mainly muscle. I don't eat much. I don't really get hungry.

Normal heart-rate? Seventy-two beats.

Average.

Temperature? 98 flat.

Average as well.

Scoliosis? Nope.

My spine is healthy.

Breathing? Proper.

I wouldn't have gotten this far if I couldn't breath properly.

Rashes, skin discoloration, or skin cancer? Nope.

I've always had perfect skin.

Breast cancer? Thank god, not.

I'm so glad I have a female doctor.

Eyes, throat, teeth and ears? Slightly bad hearing from loud noises at young ages, and some dust from the desert. Average.

That's my parents fault.

Reflexes? Good.

I nearly kicked the doctor.

Blood test? Results pending.

God, those take forever.

After I was done with the doctor here, a techinician escorted me to the labs were they tested for stamina. They hooked me up to an oxygen mask and a bunch of monitors and had me run five miles. I ran four on average, so it got a tad bit hard, but barely.

After that they tested me on weapons.

Guns? Average.

Knives? Above Average.

Swords? Above Average.

Hand to hand combat? Average.

Then they tested me on my medicals. I was average on everything. As usual. After that was a set of intelligence exams, from mathematics, to foreign languages. I got average on about everything except geography, in which they handed me a very large text book and gave me directions to my dorm room.

If my blood tests came back average or better, I would be COS. A Covert Operations Soldier.

* * *

"Tomorrow I'm working on your shotgun. They neglect that to much."

"Remember, Alecs, I'm being sent out on my first job tomorrow." The man rolled his eyes.

"And you remember I got in this program _for_ my memory. You didn't." I nodded, saluting the veteran soldier before leaving the shooting range and getting into the elevator. My life had changed completely in the past two years.

I had finally escaped my past. All of my coworkers only knew of my last two years. And Aaron. I had called him last year. It hadn't gone well.

_"Hello?"_

_"Hello Ms. Scoble. May I speak to Aaron?"_

_"Of course. Is this about Harvard?" I always knew he'd do well._

_"Not really. Just an old friend."_

_"Well, here he is."_

_"Hello?"_

_"Guess who, Otou-chan," I whispered softly. I heard his breath catch, and then release in a shaky whoosh._

_"Is... Is this some kind of sick joke?"_

_"No. It's really me." I felt horrible._

_"Kairi?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Oh my God, are you allright? Shelby said you got kidnapped? Are they holding you hostage?" He was panicked._

_"No, no, no, Aaron! I'm a covert operations soldier now. I left. I'm so sorry."_

_"Why the hell?"_

_"I wanted to escape my past... maybe this call was a bad idea..." I felt like crying._

_"No, don't hang up. I'm sorry, I'm just on edge. Me and Exene are getting married before we go to Harvard in a few weeks."_

_"Congrats. What are you taking?"_

_"She's taking art and creative writing. I'm taking law and forensic psychology. Go figure. You used to want to take psychology."_

_"You still remember? Wow."_

_"You know, I actually saved you an invatation on the wedding... I know it sounds pitiful... but I was hoping you'd come back." Apparently he hadn't seen my message._

_"Look up Kairi in Texas if you want to see me."_

_"You're not coming, are you? You know, she's pregnate. I finally knocked her up."_

_"I hope it's a cute kid."_

_"It's a girl. We're naming it Elizabeth." My middle name._

_"Goodbye Aaron."_

_"Goodbye Kairi. Don't wish for wings."_

I had actually come to the wedding, or tried. But no one would know. I had perched myself in a tree in the forest at the park they were having the wedding, decked out in black since it was a moonlit wedding. Aaron's dream wedding. Exene's wedding. Exene had looked about four months along. When I saw Aaron look at Exene walking down the isle though, I knew he wouldn't miss me, and I left right then and there, and left my past in the past forever.

But I would always remember.

* * *

I held up the gun, breathing hard as I clutched at my side. Suddenly, another bullet shredded through the back of my knee. I cried out, firing in surprise, but it went far from my target, and I collapsed to the ground on my stomach.

"Stupid whore. You'll pay. They'll never find you."

I don't know why I suddenly feared death. Was it the fact that I now had a life? A happy one? No matter how false it really was, no matter how much of a show it was, I was still happy. I didn't want to die.

"Oh, don't worry, I won't kill you."

The tall woman crouched in front of me, her long slender black hand wrapping around my neck.

As everything faded to the black of unconciousness, I remembered Aaron's words.

_"Don't wish for wings."_

* * *

I groaned, clutching at my head as I came back into conciousness. I was laying in dust, and my entire body hurt. I sat up, and looked around. I cursed.

I was in the back alley-way streets of Midgar on the fifth plate.

And I knew because I'd been here before. Four years ago.

* * *

**A/N: I apologize very much for practically this entire chapter being just Kairi's past. But I was making her character, making the prologue, and laying some mystery. But I dedicate this to the story Prelude of Ruin by SacredXmoon, because she inspired this, and chapter two helped out with the soldier examinations.**

**Stay tuned. I'll be working hard, since I've never played the game, only watched the movie Advent Children. And read ALOT of fanfiction.**


	2. ShinRa

**Shin-Ra**

I groaned, clutching at my head as I came back into conciousness. I was laying in dust, and my entire body hurt. I sat up, and looked around. I cursed.

I was in the back alley-way streets of Midgar on the fifth plate.

And I knew because I'd been here before. Four years ago.

* * *

I attempted to take a deep breath, but it came out shaky and gasping. My hand rubbed at my neck, and I felt unaware of the tears running down my cheeks until they touched my hands. For a second I feared it was blood, and looked at my hand. It was salt water. Tears.

I started sobbing now, pulling my knees to my chest. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to go back to my life.

I had sworn I'd never come back... it was in rage and hate... but I meant it.

_I watched in terror as Sephiroth viciously stabbed Cloud, flinging him across the room. I attempted to get to my feet, my SOLDIER armor weighing me down, soaked in my blood from my stomach wound as I tried to get up. To kill him. He had destroyed everything I held precious in this world. He would pay._

_"You fucking bastard! I'll tear you to pieces with my bare hands! I hate you!" I cried in rage, tears streaming down my cheeks and blurring my vision. Sephiroth turned to face me, his face sad._

_"You shouldn't say that. Mother won't aprove... a pity. I happened to favor you." I scrambled to my feet, supporting myself on JENOVA's tank and spat at him, baring my teeth in an animalistic snarl._

_"Fuck you," I growled simply, reaching for my handgun. Before I could make a defensive move, his sword pierced through my chest, yanking upwards and exiting through my shoulder. I screamed and gurgled at the pain, falling flat on my face. Sephiroth crouched in front of me, and moved my head with his hand so he could look at me._

_"I told you to watch your tongue, Kairi," he said softly. "I didn't want to hurt you... but have peace in the Promised Lands." I glared at him, bits of my home world flashing in my eyes._

_"Bastard! I'm n... never... never come... coming ba..." I never got to finish my sentence, as the blackness took over. _

As I cried, sleep took over. That sickening blackness swarmed and ate away at my conciousness.

* * *

I sat in the alley-way, staring blankly at the wall. For the past two-days I hadn't moved more than laying down and sitting up. I was thinking. If I didn't have water or food soon, I was going to die. My stomach's constant protest to any thought other than food made me firmly aware of that.

In the army I had been taught that the brain tells you when you are hungry, normally, and they had trained us out of the habit of thought-connected hunger. We were put on a strict diet, so we never ate anything more or anything other than what was required. If your body told you you were hungry, it was supposed to be a sign of dying. A built in alarm-clock.

But what should I do? I couldn't go back to SOLDIER. I was probably classified as Missing in Action, or something along those lines, anyways... and I didn't want to see Shin-Ra's face ever again. If I did, I didn't think I would be able to hold myself back from snapping the mans neck. And what about Zack? That blonde boy that had been with us? Sephiroth? Professor Hojo? That girl Zack called Tifa? The Turks? JENOVA? How long had I been away in there time? What had I missed?

So many questions ran through my head, but one came in prominent.

Sephiroth.

I knew without a doubt that he had probably killed Zack, as well as everyone else in Nibelheim. He would pay.

There was no way he was still in the Shin-Ra corporation... they weren't that stupid. But was Shin-Ra still in tact? Was the company still running?

My stomach gave a grating pain, so fierce I cried out, and someone who was walking by the alley-way froze. I looked up to see someone dressed in a suit, with bright red hair, a cocky smirk, and goggles. The hints of concealed weapons were beneath his clothing, but only obvious to a trained eye.

I was to consumed by my sudden pain for a moment, as I dry-wretched, to care as the man aproached me.

"Hey, hey! Pretty lady with the wierd guns, why ya starvin'?" He asked, voice laced with a sort of teasing concern. The pain faded to a dull throb and I looked up from my pitiful state, on my hands and knees, up at the man. I suddenly felt a bit of recognition, and recoiled, curling against the wall. I was strong enough to fight, but he didn't know that, and he was clearly trained well. He could over-ower me, though not easily. I was cocky, but I wasn't stupid.

"Because," I said. My voice was scratchy and hoarse from lack-of use and pain. He furrowed his brow.

"Y'know, ya look familiar," he commented. "Either way, I got an apartment with a couch, a plate of food ready to be warmed up, and a bath with your name on it."

I took a second to think about it. I could care less about the mans intentions, but what was my point? My entire life, I had always had a point, a reason to do something. What was it now?

To get my revenge. To destroy Sephiroth.

I gave a weak nod.

"Nice. Can ya stand?"

* * *

"So what's ya name?" The man asked as I sat down on his couch, dressed in a large T-shirt and a pair of pajama pants that had the tie as tight as it could go. I wasn't oblivious to his roaming gaze. I got that alot. The army did that to a girl. She looked rugged... hard-core, if you want, her body muscled in a way that I had once heard described as a 'sexy blacksmith with a big chest'. And considering she had no bra, she wasn't surprised by the glazed look in the guys eyes.

I thought about it. If he really knew who I was, he might shoot me or something along those lines. Most people with guns in Midgar worked for Shin-Ra... if they still existed that was.

I just decided on the truth. After all, if a simple man could kill me, how could I even dream of destroying Sephiroth?

"My name is Kairi." He nodded.

"I recognize your name too... Do I know you from somewhere?" I shrugged.

"Midgar is a big city," I said lightly, improvising.

I remembered vividly many of the nights I had spent roaming the city, out after curfew, in the large city. I had been here for a total of five years while in a coma on Earth for one year.

He nodded in reply. He walked out of his kitchen and handed me a mug of tea and a plate of left-over spaghetti. I resisted from scarfing it all down. I would be sick if I did. Instead, I took a few sips and a few bites, before setting it aside for later.

"What's your name...?" I asked.

"Reno." I remembered instantly who he was... I remembered all of those missions he had been my pilot... But I had to check.

"The Turk?" He suddenly seemed suspicious, but nodded anyways.

Oh shit.

I need to get out of here. Because if he's a Turk, Shin-Ra is still alive... and I'm under order of execution. For deserting SOLDIER.

* * *

I thank Reno several times over, playing the part of a thankful girl before I left the next morning. I was now clean, rested and full. I also happened to be wearing the clothes I had had before I appeared here. I was wearing my long black leather trench coat that pulled itself together with sets of buckles. Underneath I wore a black tanktop with ten necklaces I never took off, and black shorts. On my back was a bag Reno had lent me, which was filled with some food, about fifty gil for a place to stay for the next night or whatever I needed, a map to Edge, and a set of spare clothes which included a T-shirt and shorts, curtesy of Reno. He was also kind enough to lend me his phone number.

"Ya can call me anytim, for whatever ya need, kid," he had said. I nodded my head and with a bid of polite farewell, I walked away.

Now I had to find Edge, Reno had said a group called AVALANCHE hid out there, waiting out themselves for a chance to destroy any remains of JENOVA. He had said to look for a bar called Seventh Heaven.

* * *

The time it took get to Edge was longer than I would have expected, but before I had left, I had stopped at an electronics store, and for a buch of tinkering, I had earned enough to buy myself a motorcycle. That in itself had taken about five days.

With my new, small bike beneath me, my past behind me, revenge in front of me, I wished for wings.

I drove.

I reached Edge in a few days's time, just before I was about to run out of food. I sat on the edge of the city, pulling out some food to eat, when I saw a kid with some wierd bruising all over his skin stare at me with adoration. I sighed, and gestured him over. He timidly walked towards me.

"I'll give you the bread and cheese if you tell me what's wrong with you," I offered. He looked confused, but nodded. All of the kids that lay on the streets here, begging for food, had something wrong with their skin or bodies, and it was all the same thing. It was dispicable, but what was worse was the way the adults treated them.

"All us kids got geostigma," he said, and I thanked him before handing him the food. I pushed myself onto my feet, and walked my bike down a street, looking for the bar on the map, but it wasn't there. I cursed.

"Damned Reno can't tell any fuckin' instructions, and he's a fuckin' pilot?!!"

A kid eeped, a little girl who had been approaching me. I turned to face her.

"Can I help you?" I asked politely, crouching in front of her. I loved kids. They were so innocent, so... easy. Easy to damage. Easy to kill. Easy to hurt. Easy to use. Easy.

"I can give you directions," she offered softly.

"I'm sorry, but I already gave away all of my food," I relented. I felt horrible. She smiled.

"I've already have breakfast. I have a home."

"Oh. Good for you. Now, can you tell me how to get to the bar Seventh Heaven...?" The little girl nodded and smiled wider.

"That _is_ my home!" She chirruped. Suddenly, a little boy was beside her. He watched me carefully.

"Hello," I said softly.

"My name is Marlene. This is Denzel," the girl said suddenly.

"My name is Kairi."

* * *

I walked into the bar, my bike packed outside, and the two little kids behind me. They were gone in an instant, probably to their mother. I went to the back of the bar and took a seat.

I just sat there for a while, thinking. Not really about anything specific. I liked doing that. Just thinking for the sake of staying sane, which was a heady task in my life nowadays.

Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice, and looked up. A man, with a large broadsword strapped to his back, dressed in a SOLDIER uniform stood at the bar. My eyes brightened and I lept to my feet.

It was Zack! That was his sword! He was alive!

I rushed forward, tears filling my eyes, as I lunged myself at the man, wrapping my arms around him as I started sobbing, sobbing his name repeatedly.

"What the hell?! Get off!" A voice exclaimed, and when it reached my ears, I stepped back. My eyebrows furrowed. It was Zack's sword... but not Zack. Rage filled me as I stared up at blue eyes and blonde hair. I yanked out a gun and pointed it to his head. The girl behind the bar shieked.

"Bastard! How the hell did you get that sword?!!" The mans eyes widened and his hands twitched. I cocked the gun. I wasn't stupid.

"M-My friend gave it to me...!!" He exclaimed, surprised and scared. I narrowed my eyes, and punched him in the gut. He keeled over, my gun still to his head as I whispered harshly into his ear.

"No you theiving bastard, that was Zack's sword!" I felt the man go rigid.

"How do you know Zack...?" His voice was soft with pain. I stepped back, my face confused. The man got to his feet. I looked closer at him. If you just changed his hair and eye color... he looked exactly like Zack.

"P-Please tell me... please tell me your Zack..." I whimpered softly, suddenly a gun was to the back of my head, and I cursed.

"I do not appriciate you placing guns to my friends heads," a cold voice said. I went rigid, cursing myself for my stupidity.

"Vincent, let her go. She thought I was Zack." I looked at Cloud like he was an idiot. I had just put a fucking gun to his head!

* * *

"So how do you know Zack...?" Cloud asked, sitting down. After sorting things out with the Valentine expiriment, as I used to refer to him as, they had offered me a glass of water, and taken a seat. Tifa, who I had recognized instantly, as well as Vincent and Cloud sat around me.

"I was with that man for five fucking years. He was my best friend and superior. I believe I should be asking you the same fucking thing," I grumbled out. I didn't like talking, especially to this man. Tifa was staring at me, trying hard to remember something, Vincent was indifferent, and Cloud was pissed. I'd be pissed to.

"What do you mean? You're SOLDIER?"

"Ex. Now how do you know Zack?"

"I'm an Ex-SOLDIER," Cloud admitted. Tifa's eyes suddenly widened in recognition.

"Y-you dissapeared!" She suddenly exclaimed. I gave her a look.

"Thank you for remembering me, Tifa, darling," I said in sarcastic sincerety. "Now, for the million dollar question, how do you know Zack?" I asked again.

"Don't you remember? Cloud was with us in Nibelheim! He had killed Sephiroth!" My body went rigid at the name, as I tried to remember... and then I did. Cloud seemed to remember at the same time.

"K-Kairi...?" His voice was thick with emotoin. I nodded slowly. Tears welled in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry..." And with a violent jerk of his chair, Cloud ran out the area. Tifa's eyes were downcast in shame. Vincent just watched emotionlessly. As usual.

"Tifa? What did I miss..." And then I noticed something. "Wait, how did Cloud get Zack's sword...?" She didn't answer, just sobbed lightly, crying. With a loud sob, she raced up the stairs of the bar. Vincent turned cold eyes to me, but they held pity. I met his gaze with my terrified one.

"What happened...?" I asked him.

"That is for Cloud to tell you," he said, voice tinted with pity, and he got up. They had all left me alone. I sunk into my seat, fiddling with my necklaces.

* * *

I woke up partially, having fallen asleep on the booth in the back of the bar, as someone draped a blanket over me. I pretended to be asleep as I watched Cloud stand there, staring at me for a moment.

And then he whispered something that made me want to cry harder.

"Zack said that if I ever saw you again, he said to tell you 'Don't wish for wings'. I wonder what he meant." And with a silent, sad look, he wiped away a stray tear.

"I'm sorry, I failed him Kairi... I'm sorry I failed you... I'm sorry I failed everyone... Please forgive me... I don't deserve your memory..." Without another word, he walked back up to his bedroom, unaware I had heard everything he had said. I knew what he meant though. I knew what Zack meant. And I knew what Cloud meant.

I closed my eyes and let the nightmares consume me.

* * *

**A/N: Hullo, my lovely ducklings! This story has to be the best-written one I've ever done... Anywho, more chapters to come! I want reviews! Please! Also, does anyone know any good Sephy/OC fics? Or any good Cloud/Zack fics? REALLY good ones, BTW...**

**Also, quick note, this story is based right before Advent Children, and I will be going on cannon with the movie! It's essential! And also, every thing mentioned about Kairi is important. Especially the necklaces.**


	3. Zack Fair

**Zack Fair**

_I stood in an endless expanse of white... a disgusting, tainted white that seemed to be tinted with hues of green and blue. _

_As if the area sensed my distaste, or changed its mind on the setting, it moved me to a church. It was a large church, and flowers littered the ground around a small pool of water. I crouched beside it, it seemed familiar..._

_I had lost most of my memory when I awoke from that coma, and then over the years things had drifted away... now things, things I didn't want to remember, started coming back._

_"Long time no see," a soft voice said. I looked up to see Zack standing there, a broad smile on his face, exactly the same as I last remembered him, except for he didn't have his sword._

_"Zack...?" I asked, feeling tears come again._

_Damn, I was such a crybaby right now..._

_"Yeah, Angel, it's me," I couldn't resist a smile at the nicname, he had given it to me at our first meeting... I had punched him. I can't really remember why, though. Probably no reason, most likely I was pissed. I stood there, barefooted in the flowers in the rundown church, staring at him. I wanted to hug him tight and never let him go... but I didn't want to get close again._

_"Where are we...?" I asked finally, breaking the silence. Zack ducked his head, averting his gaze._

_"Aerith's church. Remember? That girl who used to sell flowers in Midgar?" I nodded. I remembered clearly. Zack had dated her for a while._

_"You changed," he said softly. "You used to be as talkative as me. You used to always smile." He stepped forward, and wrapped his large, long arms around me, holding me close. I stood still, fighting the urge to cry, fighting the urge to hug back, and also fighting the urge to pull away. "You used to hug me like you thought I'd dissapear."_

_"You forget, I dissapeared." He sighed. "Am I dreaming?" I looked up into his face, my own empty. I don't know why... I had never hid from him before... but I didn't want to get hurt again. He sighed, stepping away. Without answering my question, everything faded._

* * *

When I woke up from the nightmare, which I really did think of it as, I was woken up rather rudely, by myself. I had fallen on the floor, rolling over in my sleep.

I lay there, dazed, as I heard footsteps racing down, Cloud stood at the entrance to the stairs, sword raised, in light blue chocobo decorated pajamas. Tifa was down just as fast, a spare dagger in her hand.

"Kairi...?" Cloud asked softly, his eyes gazing around carefully as he took a defensive stance. I sat up, still sleep-lagged and confused. I just blinked up at him. He sighed in relief. "What was that noise? What are you doing on the floor?" The question didn't seem to process, and he groaned, putting his spare hand to his forehead.

"What?" Tifa asked.

"I forgot how _clueless_ she was when she woke up." I just looked at him, letting things sink in.

"Why do you have chocobos on your pajamas?" I finally asked, when I could speak. Cloud smacked himself on the head, before sitting down at the table. Tifa offered me a hand, but I just stared at it. She blinked, biting her lip, before sitting down.

"Kairi, if you don't wake up fast, I'm going to find some cold water."

"I am awake," I said simply, voice soft and tired. I yawned.

"No, you're half-awake." I looked at him, before laying back down on the floor, and curling up with the blanket around me.

"Don't go back to sleep, it's only ten minutes till sunrise when the bar opens." Cloud scolded. I looked at him.

"I'm cold," I replied simply. He rolled his eyes, setting his sword on the table, and leaned down. He put one arm beneath my knees and the other underneath my neck and hoisted me up bridal style.

He carried me up the stairs silently, as I just stared in sleepy-awe at everything. He set me down on a bed, tucked the blankets in, and turned to leave. I grabbed his hand suddenly, still in a sleepy daze.

"Zack... don't leave again..." Cloud shook free and sprinted out of the room.

For the next hour I sat there, staring at the wall across from the bed, where Cloud had a picture of him, Marlene, Tifa and Denzel.

* * *

Cloud poked his head inside the door, a flush on his cheeks.

"Um, you awake yet?"

"Mng," I grumbled out, shrugging. Truthfully, I didn't want to be. I was horrible in the mornings. But I didn't hate them, in fact, I loved them, because they meant the nightmares were over for now, but at the same time... the nightmares haunted me until I was distracted. Of course, nobody else needed to know that

"I'll take that as a yes... but, um... I need to get dressed. " I grumbled something under my breath, and pulled myself off of the bed. I was just in my tanktop, shorts and necklaces, my trench coat no where to be seen. I flushed.

"Right," I said emotionlessly, pushing away all emotions. I walked out of the room, down the stairs, and into the bar. Tifa, Marlene, Denzel and a very large man with a gun on one hand were at the table. A red furry head peeked out from underneath the table as well. They were having breakfast. I froze.

Where were my weapons? It was the first thought that came to mind, I froze, still in the shadows of the staircase, and looked around. My bag was on the bar's counter, my guns and kodachi leaned against it. I pretended to be normal, walking over to it, and strapped my kodachi to my side, and strapped on all five of my guns holsters, and the backstrap for my rifle.

"Those are some puny fuckin' guns ya got, wha' are tha?" the man asked from the table. I rolled my eyes.

"Small? My shotgun could make a hole in your chest as big as your head from here." He smirked.

"Barret, this is Kairi, she's Cloud and Tifa's friend!" Marlene introduced. I scoffed, and Tifa looked hurt.

"No offense to any of you, but all of my friends are dead or better off without me." Tifa's eyes widened. "Except for one, but now that I think about it, he's better off without me, too."

"Who is he?" Barret asked. I smiled.

"You probably know him. His name's Zack Fair."

"But ain't he dead too?" I furrowed my brow, pushing away my fears.

"You must be mistaken," I said slowly. "Last time I saw him, he was alive."

"Kairi..." Tifa began. "That was two years ago. And he..." Just then, Cloud walked down the stairs, dressed in his SOLDIER uniform, some packages under one arm.

"Mornin'." He said with a wave, heading for the door.

"Hey! Aren't you gonna have some food?!" Tifa shouted after him. He shook his head, giving a thumbs up over his shoulder. Tifa puffed in frustration, but let him leave.

I sat down at the table, putting my feet up, and draped my coat over me, and closed my eyes.

_Poke._

I ignored it.

_Poke._

I adjusted my position, away from the offender.

_Poke._

I swatted mindlessly at the offender.

_Poke._

I snarled loudly at the soon-to-be-victim.

"Eep! She's awake!" I opened my eyes. They had only been shut for about ten minutes. I stared up at a petite ninja-like girl.

"Who're you?" I asked.

"I'm Yuffie. Who're you? What's your favorite color? How old are you? Do you like chocobo's? Are you Cloud's girlfriend? How do you know Tifa? Do you think pink looks good on me? Do you wanna be friends?" I cut her off at that question.

"No." I said harshly. She flinched, eyes wide, tears welling. I sighed, putting my hand over my face, and got up. I wasn't going to nap, and I didn't have time to worry about her.

"Hey, what's your name...? Wait, I know... Um, Barret, right?" The man nodded.

"Show me how to work your guns."

* * *

For the next few days, actually about two weeks, I spent my time learning as much as I could about all of Barret's interesting weapons. When I woke up in the mornings, Cloud would show me a bit on how to handle the larger swords, or spar me, since I was already pretty good. No one asked how I knew so much, well, they did, I just didn't answer. Cloud didn't tell anybody either, but I don't know about Tifa. I usually slept on the couch in Cloud's room, since Tifa almost always had travellers staying in the spare rooms, and I didn't want to inconvienience her. When Yuffie, Vincent, Barret or Cloud weren't there to help me out with something, I was usually hiding out in a back-alley with my motorcycle or collecting parts, avoiding Tifa since she seemed to enjoy shoving food down my throat since I usually only ate a little bit each day.

So far, none of them knew of my reason for being here, and I was fine with that. I was collecting information, but so far, I wasn't getting much. I needed answers.

So this morning I woke up quickly, surprising Cloud who was brushing his teeth, since I wasn't usually in my stupid or grumpy state. I hadn't really slept much lately, and when I did, I'd sneak a bottle of hard sake, so I slept nightmare free.

"What is it?" He asked after he had rinsed out his mouth. I shrugged, not wanting to give away any of my intentions yet, because no doubt, Cloud would be asking questions soon, when he realized he didn't know why I was here.

"Can I borrow a change of clothes?"

"Sure. I think Tifa has some old ones that'd fit you... you're like a stick, compared to her," I brushed off the teasing insult and followed him into the hall. He dug a pile of clothes out of a closet, and let me take over his bathroom.

He had handed me a pair of tight jeans, and a midriff T-shirt. I didn't quite aprove of the apparel, but I could care less. Also, Lord have Mercy, there was a bra and clean underwear. No wonder Cloud had blushed. I pulled on the clothes and tied my crimson hair up high in a ponytail.

I walked out, and Cloud wasn't there. I shrugged it off, tied on all of my weapons... just in case, and slung my bag and coat over my shoulder. I walked downstairs, to see Tifa, Cloud, and a familiar red-headed Turk talking. Tifa turned around first and grinned.

"Glad they fit. They weren't exactly made for SOLDIER's." I nodded in thanks, just as Reno and Cloud turned around. Cloud blushed hot, and Reno grinned.

"Damn right they fit, ya look fuckin' sexy, Kairi!" Reno exclaimed. I sweatdropped. "Came ta see how you were doin', and if ya had taken care of ya buisiness yet!" I deadpanned. Cloud looked confused.

"What buisiness?" He and Tifa asked. I sighed, and gestured for them all to sit. Reno just stood next to me, eyes roaming over my necklaces, and down to my chest. I ignored him, and their questions.

"Cloud, is there any way you can get the rest of AVALANCHE here?" Cloud went rigid.

"How... How do you know about that?" He asked, eyes suspicious. I pointed at Reno, who rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"Better question, why do you need them?" Tifa asked, concerned for me.

"Two reasons. One, I need to find Zack, two, I'm going to destroy Sephiroth." Cloud looked down, not meeting my eyes. Tifa and Reno looked at him incrediously.

"Ya mean she doesn't know?!!" I felt a sense of dread take over as Reno said that. I looked at him... had what Barret said been true...? Was he sick? Was he hurt? Was it something about Sephiroth?

"Don't know what?" Cloud got up.

"Kairi, I need to talk to you privately... how about we go up to my room?" I glanced at Tifa, who's head hung, and she rubbed her arms as if to give herself warmth and comfort. Reno stared at Cloud, but I couldn't decipher why. I nodded, and followed him up. He gestured to his bed. "Take a seat." I did as told, not questioning him. He sat down beside me.

"Which necklace was it that Zack gave you...?" He asked softly. I looked at the floors wooden boards as I silently unhooked the silver necklace with a red ruby blooddrop gem centered in a silver locket. Inside the locket was my two favorite pictures. One of just Zack, smiling the good-off he always acted like. The other one was one that Sephiroth had taken... Zack was carrying me, unconcious, into the helicopter after a mission.

I silently placed it in Cloud's hands. For a few minutes he was silent as he fondled the piece of jewelry.

"He was your best friend... I remember when he gave it to you, it was your birthday, adding it to your collection, and it took him a whole day to get you to swear you'd never take it off." I nodded, smiling faintly at the memory.

"Kairi... At Nibelheim that night, after you had d-dissapeared," I knew without a doubt that he had nearly said 'dead', "Sephiroth jumped... into the Mako reactor with JENOVA's head... He died..." I sucked in a sharp breath, feeling pain take over with a memory.

_"Why are you in my office...?" A silky voice asked. I turned around to see a tall man with long silver hair._

_"It's your office?" I replied, not quite sure who the man was. He nodded._

_"I believe so, considering I am General Sephiroth," his voice was teasing. My eyes widened and I jumped to my feet. I bowed to him._

_"Uh, Hullo, General, Sir." He nodded, taking a seat. Once he was comfortable, as respectful procedures dictated, I took my own seat as well._

_"I do not believe you answered my question."_

_I blushed._

_"Oh, um, sorry, Sir... I'm a new SOLDIER and Zack said to talk to you about... um... well, you see, my materia abilities... I can't use them." The man smiled._

_"Really, miss?" My eyes widened. How did he know I was a girl?_

_"It's not really that hard to figure out," he said to my unasked question. "And yes, I can assist you. It's better than sending you to Hojo."_

_I furrowed my brow._

_"Why? What's so bad about Hojo?"_

_Sephiroth looked away from my gaze. "That is a story for another time."_

That had been our first meeting.

_I sat down in the house in Nibelheim. It was my first mission in Cloud's hometown. Little did I know this night would change my life. I had been stuck with a sharing a room with the General, though Zack and I had protested greatly, considering only him and Sephiroth knew I was a girl, Cloud seemed as clueless as ever..._

_Sephiroth walked out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist. I flushed, getting up to leave, but a hand on my arm stopped me._

_"General, Sir?" I asked hesitantly. He frowned softly._

_"I told you to call me Sephiroth."_

_"Uh... Sephiroth, Sir?" He smiled._

_"Much better." And before I knew what was happening, he was kissing me._

That had been our first kiss.

Cloud watched silently, respectfully, as I silently grieved in myself. I wasn't grieving over the loss of him, though, I was grieving over the loss of the chance to kill him myself.

"That... That completely defeats my purpose now," I said sadly. "I was here to request your help to kill Sephiroth. Is that all?" My voice was ice, but I couldn't help it. The memory of Sephiroth still haunted me, littered in nightmares and fantasies and daydreams.

"No... Kairi, I'm so sorry... after Sephiroth died... me and Zack... we were submitted to Hojo's... experimentation." Fear, rage, and dread filled me for what he would say next. "When we escaped, I was unconcious, and Zack rescued me. He defeated the Turk's and SOLDIER's that had been sent after us... But... he got shot. Alot... a few times in the head... and the chest... Kairi, Zack died. That's how I got the Buster Blade."

I shook my head in disbelief as the words sunk in. Tears welled in my eyes, and for a moment, the blurred figure of Cloud looked exactly like Zack. I couldn't hold back the sobs as I threw myself into the arms of Cloud, hugging him tightly as I cried into his shirt. Cloud cried silently as well, for his dead friend, for me, I don't know... all that mattered was that he held me while I cried.

And he cried too.

When I finally pulled myself together, I was mumbling curses under my breath at myself. I silently thanked Cloud and walked down the stairs. Tifa looked at me, apology and shame written all over her face, having heard my sobs and shouted curses. Reno was sitting on the bar counter, a drink in his hand as he stared down at the liquid. He looked up when he saw me. I met his eyes for asplit second before turning away, viciously wiping at my tears. Wordlessly, I grabbed my bag, and my coat, and checked for my weapons. I headed for the door.

Cloud stood at the stair cases, his own eyes red, but confusion took over his face.

"Where are you going?" He asked softly. I looked over my shoulder.

"I don't know," I replied softly, feeling the pain take over. I turned back around and walked out the door. None of them stopped me. None of them could.

* * *

**A/N: Wow. This is alot more tragedy than I expected. Well, it is as it is... and Kairi seems a bit of a cry baby right now, but you understand, she doesn't cry that much, but she does have plenty to cry for. But don't worry. I'll be taking care of her need to cry soon enough. And, if you expected as much, Advent Children events will soon be occuring. And yes, this is a Cloud/OC romance... but, there will definitely be hardships.**

**Can anybody guess what one of those hardships will be? A Sephy plushie if ya do!**


	4. Turks

**

* * *

**

Turks

I walked away from the bar, and as I turned to go down the alley where I kept my bike, I caught the eyes of Marlene and Denzel, who were standing at a window, watching me. Denzel narrowed cold eyes, and turned Marlene away, faking a smile.

He was a good kid. He had to grow up to fast.

* * *

Memories, of Zack, of Sephiroth, of my home plagued my mind... I fondled the necklaces around my neck.

_"Hey, Kairi, can I talk to you for a second...?" My friend Nathaniel asked. I grinned. It was my thirteenth birthday party. I nodded, stepping away from the others, who were to consumed in their conversations to notice. He drew out a small white box with pink tissue paper sticking out of the side._

_"Here, it's your birthday present. I've been hiding it this whole time." I took it from him, lifting off the lid. "Careful though, it's a family heirloom."_

_I opened up the box to see a small golden chain that led to a heart-shaped locket. The locket was lined in gold, the center black opal, and on the opal was a small carving in gold of a guardian angel._

_"I thought you might like it since I remembered you telling me a story about how your grandmother had loved guardian angels... and that story about your brother." I smiled._

_"I love it." I opened up the locket to see a picture of me and Nathaniel. I could still remember the night. He had rescued me from a bunch of kids at our school who had found me sleeping on the playground. He had brought me back to his house, and his stepmother had made us hot chocolate. "Can you help me put it on?"_

_"Only if you promise to never take it off."_

_"I promise._

A year later, Nathaniel had been brutally murdered by a gang that was taking over the city... all of the offenders had been prosecuted, until one day, Nathaniel's family suddenly dropped the charges, and they had walked free.

I never took it off, ever, if only to bath.

_It was four days after my seventh birthday, christmas morning. I still cried... after mommy had divorced daddy... though I didn't know I would see him again, at his worst, a year later... I missed my daddy. I opened up a gift, a gift from 'santa' and grabbed the card._

~You told me you had believed in Santa,

So when your mom got this in the mail,

She wouldn't know it's from me.

Merry christmas, Princess.

Daddy~

_I wrapped the black-jeweled choker around my neck._

I never took that one off, reminding myself every second of my life the mistake I had made, begging my mother for two years straight, to take me back to my daddy.

_"Mommy, why do people think I'm crazy...?" I asked softly, a kindergarten version of me sitting on Shelby's bed. She grinned at me._

_"Because they can't see them."_

_"Why, though? I can't see them either, only in my dreams. I can hear them."_

_"Because they're dead."_

_"Oh." I was silent for a moment... "So God lets them see me?" My mother nodded. "Why?"_

_"Because they're family."_

_"How? Is Michael my daddy? What about Leroy?"_

_"No, Mikey... he was a misscarriage, sweetie, and Leroy was your daddy's daddy."_

_"How come I've never heard of them before? And what's a misscarriage?"_

_"A misscarriage is a baby that never gets born, because it dies."_

_"So was Michael my brother...?" My mother nodded._

_"Honey, I want you too have something..." She reached across to her nightstand, opened the droor with a key she kept around her neck, and pulled out a beautiful jeweled box. She used a second key from the droor to open the box, and soft music started playing. I recognized it as the tune to 'you are my sunshine'. I smiled. It was my favorite lullaby. She pulled out a beautiful diamond necklace, that had pearl drops that accented my neck._

_"This was Leroy's. We were going to give it to Michael, but... we want you to have it."_

That was the first time I had ever heard about the two family members who had kept me sane all of those years. It reminded me that guardian angels were dead. Simple as that.

_It was the day after my fourteenth birthday 'party' that eXene had planned, and I lay on my couch, skipping school, crushed. Devin had never shone up. I didn't dare tell anybody, but I thought I was in love with the man... the way he held me... talked to me... kissed me..._

_I had been stupid enough at that age to let him have his way with me. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. I shot up, fear gripping me, and peeked out the curtains. I breathed a sigh of relief, which was quickly filled with a new kind of fear._

_Why wasn't Devin at school? He was a freshman at Highschool now!_

_I opened the door, anyways though, and gave him my signature grin. He held out a small brown bag._

_"Happy birthday. My grandma made it." I grinned up at him, and opened it up. Inside was a small black leather string, and attatched to the bottom of the necklace was a metal-shaped leaf, painted, designed, and glazed over. On the back, a snack was carved into the metal._

_"It's beautiful." And Devin kissed me for the first time._

I kept that one around my neck to remind me that I was a fool, and my heart was even more foolish. To never let my emotions control me. To only do things that would better my future, never please another.

_I breathed heavily, training with the General was getting more and more intense, every single day. It was getting harder and harder... the materia wouldn't work with my body, so I had to better myself without it. According to him, if I didn't react well with my Mako combatability testing tomorrow, I would be 'removed' from the SOLDIER program... which meant he was building up my endurance, and teaching me to withstand pain better._

_Suddenly, he stopped, and approached me. I smiled tiredly up at him._

_"Hullo, Sir," I said breathlessly. He shook his head, smiling._

_"I have a surprise for you. A goodluck charm, to add to your... collection." His eyes flickered to the necklaces around my neck. "Close your eyes." I obeyed immediately, my heart skipping beats as I felt his cold hands touch my neck, and metal drape around it. "You can open them now." I obeyed, and looked down at my collar bone. A thin silver chain lay there, a small silver pendant with a carving of a baby angel sat there, and on the back, was the carving of a gryffon. I smiled softly._

_"I have to pass now, I've got my guardian angel, and a lucky gryffon!"_

I kept that around my neck to remind me to never believe another. Never to trust. Never to hope.

_Cloud and me sat in the bar, hiding out from Zack, who was rampaging about, singing about celebrating some absurd holiday he had made up. He smiled shyly._

_"Hey... um, I got ya something... kind of a... sign of friendship, I guess... partnership...." His voice was small by the time he finished. He had been timid in the first and second year of my SOLDIER training._

_I nodded, and he handed me a small jewelry box. I opened it up to see a silver chain. I wrapped it around my neck._

_"I love it. Thank you. I promise I'll never take it off." We both smiled at eachother._

I kept that one around my neck to remind myself, of everything, everyone... of memory. Te remind me to remember. It served it's purpose.

_I sat in the back of the school, beneath the tree, sobbing. It was raining, and I was wearing a T-shirt and shorts. I was attempting to stitch together a wound Edward had given me on my side, but I was failing miserably. I heard footsteps squelching in the mud, and looked up in panic. It was Aaron. I breathed a sigh of relief, and watched as the depressed boy crouched beside me, sad eyes taking in my situation. Wordlessly, he took the thread and needle, threaded it perfectly, and pushed up my shirt a little._

_"This'll hurt," he said softly through the pounding rain. We both jumped when the second periods bell rang, and I was shivering, my body hurting from the cold. The wound would probably get infected. I nodded, gritting my teeth, and looking away... I was never good with pain then. I'd scream and cry if I got a bloodtest or a a papercut. Something had been up with my nerves, thankfully, a year later, my first trainer had given me a series of shots I had to take once a year that would kill most of my pain receptors._

_I silently sobbed and cried as Aaron stitched the wound. He finished, and washed the blood from his hands in a nearby puddle. The gash had taken up my entire side, and was atleast a centimeter deep. He didn't meet my eyes._

_"I'm sorry I hurt you..." He whispered. "I hurt everybody. You, Exene..." I smiled up at him, trying not to be sick from the pain my body was in._

_"Don't. This was my fault... I was... reckless... on my bike," I lied. Aaron didn't believe it, but he accepted it._

_"Kairi, what would you do if I died?"_

_"I'd die too. You're my best friend. I can't live without you."_

_"I would too, if you died..." He seemed sad. I wondered if he was crying. In the rain you could never tell._

_"Then how about a promise?" He looked at me in confusion. "If you promise you won't kill yourself, I promise I won't. But if I die by my own hand, you die too. If you die by your own hand, I die too. Deal?" Aaron smiled softly, and held out his hand for me to shake._

_Suddenly, he got a bright smile, which he only got when he had a really good idea._

_"I want you to have something. I got it along time ago from this kid as thanks for helping him..." Aaron pulled out of his pocket, a small necklace that a pair of angel wings was attatched to a cross. He handed it to me. I clipped it on._

_"I love it. I won't ever take it off."_

_"There's an inscription on the back, too. It says 'I would rather spend my life with the birds than wishing I had wings'. I don't know what it means."_

_"It means that person would rather just be happy, then try and make themselves happy."_

_"Of course you knew, you know everything."_

_"I didn't know you were going to give me this necklace."_

_"Touche."_

Aaron was my best friend. He would always be. He was always there for me... but I had never been there for him. All I did was abandon him.

_In the world of The Planet, Gaia, it was technically my twentieth birthday. I had been training beneath Zack now for almost five years. Said first class SOLDIER was leading me down a hall, blindfolded._

_"You can take it off now," he whispered in my ear, stepping away. When I pulled it off, people jumped from everywhere, screaming 'surprise'. Of course, it was only people I knew, since Zack knew how scared I felt around strangers, but... it felt special. It felt loving._

_Tears welled in my eyes, as nightmares of my friends, of all of their curses, of all of the things that had happened to me in my home world flooded over, I turned and fled. I didnt need friends. As I ran, someones hand pulled me to a stop, pulling me into their chest, and warm, safe arms. Zack rested his head in my hair. He was twenty-one now. He breathed in my scent. I was rigid, not moving, not thinking, I just froze. He stepped back._

_"I have a present, but you have to swear you'll never take it off, unless I do something so horrible, I deserve the fact that you should abandon everything about me, even my memory." I looked at him, searching for the usual joke, usual laugh in his eyes. He was serious, solemn. I nodded slowly. He pulled out of his pocket something on a silver chain, and showed me the necklace. It was a silver locket with a blood-drop ruby centered in it. He helped me tie it around my neck._

_The next day, we were sent off to Nibelheim._

I unclipped the necklace Zack had given me and placed it on the ground.

"You don't deserve this, Zack... but you left me. I have no one. I never should have had anyone. I'm a failure. A mistake. A monster. Call me what you like, but it's time I lose my past."

I got to my feet, and left the necklace on the slab of cement.

* * *

Cloud paced nervously in the bar. Kairi had been gone for over twenty-four hours now. It was starting to rain, and all she had been wearing was a pair of pants, a small shirt, and her cloak. She didn't even have shoes. He was worried.

"Why don't we go look for her? She's been gone for a while," Tifa suggested. Reno had left right after Kairi, saying he had to get back to work, claiming he had a real job, unlike some people. Cloud had called Vincent, more for having his friend here than for anything else. The stony, monotone man sat beside Tifa, watching Cloud with careful eyes.

"You like her," he said, speaking for the first time. Cloud just shook his head.

"I don't. Zack does. Zack loved her. She never knew." Vincent nodded, understanding completely how Cloud seemed to be both Zack and himself, but he was also smart enough to realize that the chocobo-like boy had his own emotions for this stranger.

"I'm gonna go look for her. D'ya think Barret and Nanaki would help?" Vincent nodded.

"Barret liked her, well, more of liked her machine skills, than the woman herself."

"Close enough, for Barret," Tifa said. "I'll call them. See if I can get Yuffie and Cid too." Cloud nodded, and without a word, sped out the door, climbing onto his motorcycle.

Vincent followed behind him.

_Where are you, Kairi?_

* * *

I walked up to the infamous Shin-Ra building, my heart beating in my chest. I took a deep breath, and walked inside.

"May I help you?"

"I need to speak to Mr. Shin-Ra," I said. She nodded, looking down, and frowned, apparently seeing an issue with something in the computer.

"I'm sorry, but he's in a meeting right now, can this wait?"

"I'm afraid not. I have..." I quickly improvised. "I have information regarding a rogue SOLDIER." The womans eyes widened, and called down a SOLDIER.

"He'll escort you." I nodded my thanks and waited silently in the elevator.

"You a Turk?" He asked finally. He had been staring at me the entire ride. I shrugged.

"Almost. I used to work here."

"Used?"

"Yeah. Used." I pointedly ignored him the rest of the time until he gestured to a large door.

"He's right through there."

I nodded my silent thanks and without a knock or warning walked right in on Rufus Shin-Ra talking to Tseng, a man I recognized as the leader of the Turks.

"Tseng, please give us some privacy," Rufus requested immediately. I kept myself carefully empty as the Turk obediantly walked out, eyeing me carefully.

"So, my darling ex-SOLDIER, what can I do for you."

"You can tell me about the JENOVA project. What you demons did to Sephiroth." The man nodded, smiling faintly.

"Ah, yes. I remember now. You two were quite a pair, weren't you?"

"Answer me, Shin-Ra, or whatever waits me outside, I'll risk it just to blow a few bloody holes in your chest." The man chuckled.

"Silly girl. I don't know. The only way you could ever get those kinds of answers would be to work with that monster named Hojo."

"Not on your life," I growled. Death was worse than working for that son-of-a-bitch.

"Don't you see? It's your life. Your life rests in your own hands now. Being an ex-SOLDIER, having gone MIA, or Awol, as most prefer it, I should kill you right now. But I'm giving you a choice, Kairi, work for Shin-Ra again, under my control, not my predecessors, and I shall spare you. I shall make you powerful..." He gained a sadistic smile. "I can even make you forget all those awful memories of your home-world. Of Zack. Of Sephiroth."

He waited silently for me to decide.

* * *

Cloud rode his bike, following Red XIII who had caught up to him. He had caught her scent, even though it was through the rain, and he was leading him. Suddenly, Nanaki came to a stop, sniffing something silver on the ground. Cloud turned off his bike, letting it fall to its side as he got off. Nanaki moved out of his way as he picked up the silver locket. His eyes went wide in shock.

"What does it mean?" Nanaki asked. "Her scents so deep in that... she must not have taken it off for atleast a few years."

Cloud nodded, fear gripping his heart.

"She once told me... that if she ever took this necklace off... she as as good as dead. Zack gave it to her."

Red XIII nodded solemnly.

"Cloud... I am sorry... but her trail ends here. All I get is polution. She must have gotten on a bike, but I can't follow it now."

* * *

**A/N: Wow. That was a fun chapter. I'm changing some things around, for one, Advent Children is FOUR years after the original story-line, and right now, this is only TWO, so yeah... and also, I'm changing how many necklaces she has right now. She only has eight, I believe. Also, please do not steal these memories. Most of them are real. Except for the bloody gash, in that... well, the gash was caused differently.**

**Anywho, I hope you liked this chapter. Advent Children will be coming up soon!**


	5. Change

**Change**

To lose my memories… That's what I've wanted all of this time, isn't it? Or do I just… tell myself that? Do I want to remember?

I thought of them. I thought of Zack, of his smile, his laugh, his eyes…

I thought of Sephiroth, of his touch, his hold, his passion…

I thought of Aaron, of his words, his promises, of always being there…

I thought of my father, of his hate, his torture, his violence…

It was to much, the pain that came from just those thoughts overflowed me. I was choking for air, my brain was hazy, I couldn't see straight. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I sobbed, collapsing onto my hands and knees, staring at the floor, the blue carpet that got darker with salt water, my shoulders shook.

I didn't care that Rufus had stood up, knelt beside me, rubbing circles in my lower back.

"That's right, Angel." Sephiroth had been the only one to ever call her Angel. "It hurts doesn't it? To remember their betrayel… they left you all alone, with this pain, these memories, didn't they? I bet Cloud didn't even notice, even after knowing you for so many years, that something was bothering you… that you were in so much pain…"

I cried harder, listening to his words.

"J-just… t-t-take it-t… aw-way…!" I sobbed out, trying to catch the air that seemed non-existant as the pain constricted my chest, making me feel like my ribs would snap. But at the same time, a hole that had been in my chest, buried and protected by ice for years, tore open.

Rufus moved in front of me, lifting my head up, he saw my wild, tear-stained eyes, that were filled with hate and pain. He wiped away the tears, smiling, and whispered in my ear.

"So you have wished it, so it will be."

* * *

Tifa washed the counter, rubbing the wood mindlessly with her wash rag. Vincent sat on one of the seats, a drink in his hand, as he watched her carefully.

"How long?"

"Two days. He won't eat either, and if he doesn't soon..." Tifa couldn't even finish the sentance. Vincent nodded.

"Give me some food to give to him." Tifa smiled gratefully and handed him a warm plate of dumplings.

"Please, I don't know what we'll do if he keeps this up."

Vincent nodded, taking the plate, and swept out the door, cloak billowing behind him ominously. **(A/N: Wow... I have ALWAYS wanted to type that... LOL.)**

It didn't take him long to reach the old church, and walk inside. He looked around, and saw Cloud laying on his back in the flowers, staring at the ceiling. He looked cold, pale and thin. He was half-starved and probably sick too.

Cloud didn't even turn to look at Vincent as he walked up beside the boy and sat down cross-legged. He set the plate of food in front of him.

Cloud looked out of the corner of his eye at Vincent.

"You were right..." He said, voice slightly raspy. "I did like her... I liked her for five years... and then she was gone... but now, I have Tifa... and Marlene, and Denzel... but she came back... and she left again... I lost her again... I let her go... I told her Zack was dead... her best friend dead... and I let her leave... it's like having two hearts ripped from my chest... my own and... Zack's..." A tear streamed down Cloud's cheek.

"You'll find her again. History always repeats itself," Vincent said wisely, looking directly at Cloud. He didn't look around at the pale wood arches, the scattered benches, Cloud's personal belongings, or the flowers. Just at his friend. "But you do have Tifa, Marlene, Denzel, your job, and the rest of us, your friends." Vincent gave the plate of food a pointed look, before falling silent, watching Cloud as he slowly, weakly, stiffly sat up and picked up the plate with shaking hands.

* * *

Kadaj sat in prayer to his mother, her voice in his head.

_Don't forget your sister... Never forget your sister... Sephiroth, my precious son, needs her... he longs for her... she will have the geostigma, but don't forget your sister... Your brothers' lover..._

"Yes mother."

* * *

"It's been a week, Rufus, when do I forget?" I growled out. For the past week, he had had me go through test after test. From endurance exams, to strategy, to breast exam. I silently endured all of it, passing it all with the best scores Shin-Ra had ever recieved. I was in a bad mod. The other day, in a test of my broad-sword skills, I had been slammed in the back. Normally, I could handle that once I caught my breath. Of course it bruised a bunch, but the way it had hit, it shouldn't have broken. The only problem was it felt like it had been broken. My pain susceptibility was coming back. Rufus wasn't happy about it when I told him I needed those shots. 'I'll talk to Hojo about it' he had said.

"Soon. You have your mako testing today, your materia testing, and then. Then you can forget."

I nodded, returning my empty gaze to the ceiling. Hojo put the needle into the crook of my arm. I grit my teeth at the sudden, intense pain. I writhed, trying to hold still as I gasped for air through my clenched teeth, trying to lessen the pain, trying to push it to the back of my mind.

"Kairi? Hojo, what the hell is going on?!" Rufus growled out, turning to Hojo, who with the help of some lab technicians, was attempting to hold down Kairi and sedate her.

"IPS, Intensified Pain Syndrome, her nerves overload her pain receptors and they send signals to her brain, telling it she's in more pain than she actually is. I can give her pills to take every day to lessen it, or I can try an expirement for it."

"Do whatever you need, but I need her as a 1st Class SOLDIER, or a Turk." Hojo nodded, and turned to the now unconcious Kairi.

* * *

Cloud gasped in pain as the geostigma he had aquired spread through to his shoulder. He doubled over, gasping in pain, kneeling in front of his chest of materia. His breath was ragged with the pain.

Back at Seventh Heaven, Denzel did the same, Marlene watching with tear-filled eyes.

* * *

Tseng sat at his desk, going over the update of his next Turk. She was a twenty-one-year-old woman, who had been training her entire life for things like this. She was almost as good as him. Her mako combatibility had gone good, but the fact that she couldn't use materia was a worry. Hojo had her one several sets of mako poisoning once a month. He had been doing 'updates' on her as well. He had done an eye transplant, making it so she could adjust what sight levels she was on, with some intense training on it, of course. He was lining most of her bones with a type of material, not much different than metal, that would make it harder for them to break. He also had her coming in once every two months for what he called a 'tune up' for her nervous system.

She would also be lacking of memories.

"Well, if she's as good with a gun as she is with Hojo's expiriments, she'll do great," he grumbled to himself. He wasn't one for anything that was product of those labs. "Now I have to go get her supplies, holsters, and a place to stay... Shin-Ra better be paying for this..."

* * *

Kairi lay on a cold steel table in a clean-room, being prepped for certain type of mako poisoning. It was one Hojo was developing, one that affected certain points of the memory. My necklaces had been safely tucked in my bag of stuff, stuff I would be keeping with me for the rest of my life, even if I wouldn't remember why.

"Now, unfortunately, this might hurt quite a bit... I'll need you to focus on the memories you want to lose, because everything that is at the front of your mind, you will forget. This hasn't been tested yet, so I don't know the side-affects."

"Cut the damned speech and let me forget!" I growled out at him. I had been going through his tests for a month now. I was sick of the constant memories, the expiriments, the nightmares.

He nodded, smiling his sadistic smile, and cut open my arm. I grit my teeth, a tear trailing down my cheek as I closed my eyes, wishing away the pain, but also doing as I was told, focusing on what I wanted to forget.

The memories of my home-world faded, memories of Sephiroth, of all those things that hurt... I left my past behind me. I forgot it all.

* * *

**A/N: I apologize for this chapter being so short, but this is mainly a filler chapter. Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter. Stay tuned for more! AC is comin' up!**


	6. Wake Up

**Wake Up**

_Ngm... _

_Wha'...? _

_I... I don't..._

_Mmm.... My head... what word? What word do I want... hurt. Yeah... that's the word I want... hurt... My head hurts... so much..._

_Where... Where am I? I..._

_I. That's... funny. I. I. I, it means... me. But me... who is me? Who am I?_

_My head hurts again._

"Wake up, my Kitty."

_No... go away... stay out of here... this is MINE. Wherever I am, whoever I am... this is mine. Whoever you are, stay out of _my_ place... Go away..._

"Kitten, it's time to wake up." The voice was back... Someone's here with me...

_No... leave me alone... I like it here..._

"Kitten, you can't sleep forever."

_Watch me! I'll do whatever I want..._

_I want to stay here... I want to hide here..._

"Kitten. Up. Now." The voice was clipped, reproachfull, annoyed. Angry.

Almost on instinct I opened my eyes to a bright light. I closed them again, then slowly, reopened them, blinking slowly. I looked around me. A person leaned over me. I was on some sort of... table... in a metal room. The person leaning over me had colored hair and dark eyes. His lips moved up in a friendly manner. I didn't understand much. He was covered in dark stuff, his hands were braced on the table.

"That's better, Kitten. Now, what's your name?"

_Name..._

"What's a name?" I asked quickly. I froze, eyes wide in wonder and bewilderment. My voice was... different from his. It was soft... sweet... He made a funny, happy sound.

"Hah. That is something I've never heard before. A name is what others call you by. Your title. My name is Rufus Shin-Ra."

"Rufus?" I repeated. He bobbed his head. "Rufus Shin-ra. Rufus Shin-Ra. Shin-Ra Rufus. Your name is Rufus Shin-Ra?" His lips moved up again, and he bobbed his head again.

"Good. Very good." His tone was gentle. I liked it. I moved my lips up like he had. "Now, can you tell me your name?"

"Is... is it Kitten?" His lips twitched up. He was doing that a lot.

"I guess it is."

"What's that?" I asked, pointing towards his face. His forehead got lines in it, and he pursued his lips.

"What's what?"

"When your lips move up. You do it alot. What is it? Is it... good?" I asked hurredly, in a stream of questions. He made that happy-funny noise again.

"It's called a smile. It's good. It means someone's happy." I smiled. I had made him happy. It was a funny feeling, it made me happy that I had made him happy. I was... proud.

"Now, can you sit up?" He asked, moving out of my way. I bit my lip, moving my arms carefully. They stung painfully, but it was dull. I winced, but I ignored it. I moved to sit up, Rufus helping me as I did so.

"Good, good." He smiled again. I returned the gesture. "Can you stand?" I scrunched up my forehead with lines like he had earlier and, once again with his help, moved my legs to hang over the edge of the metal table. I looked at my bare feet, then to the black stuff covering his, before I asked another question.

"What is on your feet?" I asked. He sighed, rubbing his forehead, but smiled.

"Hojo said you would be like this. Like a new kitten." He made the happy-funny noise before continuing. "They're my shoes. I wear them so that I don't hurt my feet while walking or running." I bobbed my head in confirmation, and moved to get off the table. It was like a short, fall. It was... scary. It was also strange. I landed on my feet, the jolt going through my body from the impact wasn't felt. I stood easily, my muscles prepared to run. I relaxed them, and stood casually. Comfortably.

"Good. Can you walk around to me?"

And so the tests continued.

* * *

Cloud lay in the church, the necklace fondled between his fingers. It had been the necklace _she_ had been given by Zack. He didn't even dare think her name. It still hurt. He didn't even bother to wonder when it wouldn't hurt. It felt like it would hurt forever. The necklace was wrapped around his neck, he hadn't taken it off for a long time now. He did bother to wonder, as he stared down at the fog-cloaked city of Edge, why he kept it on. A constant reminder. Maybe the pain would stop if it wasn't always there. But he wanted to keep it as a reminder. He had made a mistake. He _knew_ she had been hurting. He hadn't done anything about it. She had changed so much...

And now she was gone.

* * *

"Tseng, this is Rufus."

"Boss."

"I'm calling about your new trainee. Her basic training beneath the SOLDIER will be done in two weeks. Are the preperations taken care of?"

"Yeah."

"We've changed her name for security reasons. She calls herself Kitten now."

"Kitten?"

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"Of course not."

"Good."

"Everything's been taken care of. Her new housing will be ready within the next week."

"I assume you have arranged for one of the other Turk to be living with her?"

"Yeah. Rude will."

"Why not Reno? Rude seems a bit... silent for her. Cold."

"Reno would sexually assault her."

"You have a point, a very good point. What about her clothing? Supplies?"

"Taken care of. Her guns are ready, but we need the measurements for her holsters."

"I'll send them to you via email. I'll come introduce her the day before her first day, all right?"

"Of course."

"Good bye, Tseng. Have a good day."

"Right, Shin-Ra. You too."

* * *

I walked behind Rufus, my hands clasped behind my back, trying to hide my nervousness. I had met so many new people lately, but this was different. They were just in passing, people to help me reacquaint myself with my past skills that I had forgotten, the instincts that were now natural, my new abilities. This man was going to be my boss.

"Are you afraid, Kitten?"

"No, Rufus."

"Nervous, then?"

I knew better than to lie to him.

"Slightly, Rufus."

He laughed. He had taught me that word, actually. I still thought of it as a happy-funny noise, but laugh was easier to say.

"You are a piece of work, Kitten," he said, ruffling my hair. I grinned up at him. That gesture was a sign of praise. I had done something he liked.

"Thank you, Rufus." He laughed harder. I looked up at him in confusion. I wasn't quite sure what he had said, but it had been a praise of somesort. He just smiled.

"We're here." I nodded, and watched nervously as he knocked on the door.

"Tseng," Rufus said.

"Come in," a muffled voice replied. Rufus laid his hand on my back, leading me inside as he opened the door.

"Kitten, this is your superior, Tseng. Tseng, this is Kitten." I bowed deeply, as I thought it necessary to be polite. Rufus laughed slightly, as I had learned it was called. Though, personally, happy-funny noise suits it better, but laugh _is_ shorter.

"Kitten? Tell me, Kitten, why pick that name?" Tseng asked, smiling. I blushed and lowered my head. I didn't want to speak. Rufus watched me carefully.

"It... It was... um... Rufus?" I looked up at him helplessly. I didn't know how to phrase it.

"It was given to you," he said.

"Given?"

"Given, to give. Like a gift. Or, if I placed something in your hand, and you kept it, it was given to you." Tseng watched him as he carefully explained it to me. I flushed darker.

"It was... given to me," I said, in deep embarassment, to Tseng. He nodded.

"I had no idea." He said, his tone funny. He was... amused.

"So, shall I show her around the Turks' wing of the building, and then get her situated at her home?"

Rufus nodded and left.

"Come along now, kitten."

* * *

"Rude, this is Kitten."

"Dood, she's a Turk?! She's hott!" Reno exclaimed. I looked up at him in confusion.

"No... I'm cold. It is... uh... Tseng?"

"Windy. And that's not what he meant." I nodded as if I had understood, then looked to Reno, Rude, then back at Tseng.

"So... what did he mean?" I asked innocently. Reno gave me a funny look before laughing.

"How old is she, Tseng?! Seriously!!" He laughed. I looked over at him.

"Rufus said... I am twenty-one and twenty-five." They all gave me confused looks. "What?" I asked, feeling nervous. We were all standing in the living room of my new home, an apartment. Reno was reclining in one of the seats, a can in his hand as he watched me. Rude stood, leaning in the doorway, watching me as well. I was sitting on the couch akwardly, and Tseng reclined against the kitchen counter that divided the two rooms.

"How can you have two ages?" Rude asked.

"Is it not good?"

"Normal. Not normal," Tseng corrected. "And no. It isn't normal."

"Why?" They all traded looks. Rude spoke up.

"I'll explain it later." I nodded, smiling nervously.

"So... about that explanation of hott..." Tseng gave Reno a look and he swiftly shut up.

"Rude, I have a meeting, Reno, you have a mission-"

"But-"

"-and we both need to go. Get Kitten situated, and show her how to use her holsters, and lay down the ground rules, all right?" Rude nodded, and as Reno protested, Tseng dragged him out by the collar, shutting the door behind him. I relaxed slightly, but was still tense.

"Are you hungry?" Rude asked. I looked up at the man and then quickly looked away. I shrugged. He sighed.

"All right, ground rules... don't go in my bedroom." I nodded. "Do you know how to use the bathroom?" I gave him an annoyed look, before blushing and looking away. I hadn't meant to be rude. I nodded. "All right... knock before you go in the bathroom..." I nodded. "Don't touch any of my things." I nodded. "When you're in your room, shut your door." I nodded. "Don't leave the apartment without my knowing and permission." I nodded. "Do not go home with any males." I gave him a look.

"Why?" He sighed, a heavy, exasperated sound, and rubbed his forehead. "Oh. I'm sorry... I'm just... new to this stuff, I guess."

"I know. I know. Did you lose your memory in an accident or something? Are you one of Hojo's dijjerydoos? Tseng didn't explain." I bit my lip and looked down.

"Rufus said 'you went through some bad stuff and wanted to forget, so you came to me. You becoming a Turk was just part of the deal.' " I recited. Rude nodded.

"Come on. I'll show you what's yours." He lead me into the bathroom and showed me my supplies, then showed me my room which also doubled as a library. Technically, since the closest was as big as a regular room, I would be living in the closet. I shrugged it off. He showed me where all my weapons, holsters and cleaning supplies and clothing were, and where the laundry basket was. He said he would be doing the laundry until he had time to show me how. Then, with a stoic farewell, he went off to his room.

I sighed, falling onto my back onto my bed, my eyes closing in exaughstion as I cuddled my pillow.

* * *

"Good morning," a voice said. I opened my eyes quickly to see Rude standing beside my bed. "Pajamas?" he asked simply. I shrugged. I hadn't seen the reason for them. He seemed to suspect that. "Wear them. Your bed will get dirty, and you with it." I nodded. "Get up." I obeyed, him moving out of the way as groggily went to stand. I immediately fell to my knees, staring at the wall across from me. I smiled.

"Pretty..." I mumbled. Rude looked down at me in confusion. He sighed.

"You need to take a shower."

"Yeah... the rain-machine sounds like fun... theres the yellow monsters too...!" I giggled doubling over my knees and falling flat on my face. I whined, before slumping, and staring mindlessly up at a normally-stoic Rude. He looked confused now. For about five minutes I lay in that uncomfortable position, my neck cricking as my head-de-fogged. The minute I realized what was going on, I sat up, and apologized to Rude profusely. He cut me off.

"Shower. Teeth. Hair. Clothing. Food." He ordered, before walking out of the room. I sighed, moving to do my normal morning exercise routine. Twenty pushups, two pull-ups from the clothing bar in the room that had once been a closet, forty situps, forty crunches, then I jogged in place for five minutes. After that, I grabbed the towel on my night-stand and raced off to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later I was calling Rude for help.

"What?" He asked calmly, standing in the doorway. I was in my bra and underwear, and he blushed slightly, but averted his eyes to my hands, which were struggling in an attempt to turn the shower knob.

"Help," I whined. He sighed.

"I take it you can't turn it on?" I blinked, then nodded. I wasn't quite sure what he had said, but it sounded right. He moved past me, turned it on quickly, tested the temperature, walked out of the room, and shut the door behind him. It took me a few seconds to recover, before I was climbing in the shower. After my shower, I brushed my teeth and hair, wrapped my towel around my face, and opened the bathroom door and went into the kitchen.

"Rude what-" I froze when Rude had turned around and dropped something.

He curse softly under his breath.

"No wonder they didn't put you with Reno," he muttered. I cocked my head to the side in confusion.

"Rude, are you all right?" I asked. He nodded, rubbing his forehead in annoyance. I frowned. I had upset him. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asked quickly.

"Upsetting you." He waved it off.

"What do you want, Kitten?"

"Uh... I don't know what I have to wear."

"Wear one of the suits." I nodded, and left to change. Once I had changed, I walked back into the kitchen and sat down in a chair. Rude placed a plate in front of me.

"Eat," he said simply. I obeyed. "We need to leave. We're taking my car, and giving Reno a ride, okay?" I nodded, giving him my empty plate. He put it in the sink, before leading me into the hall, locking the door behind us, and banged on our neighbors door. A frazzled Reno stumbled out. Within a few seconds, he had straightened himself out.

"Oh! Rude, my man. Good morning, and where is- there she is, the beautiful little feline," he bowed before me, taking my hand and pressed his lips to it.

"What was that?" I asked as Rude pulled him off.

"What was what?" Both Reno and Rude asked at the same time.

"When he pressed his lips to my hand... what was it?" Reno grinned, he moved to walk beside me as we headed down the apartment hall, and slung his arm over my shoulder, his face close to mine.

"That my dear was a kiss?"

Not bothered or affected in any way by his actions, I replied. "A kiss?"

"A sign of affection or endearment. That was a polite kiss, a more casual kiss would be like-" he moved closer to me, stopping us from walking, pinning me against the wall, and pressed his lips against mine. A milisecond later, Rude had plied Reno off of me, shoving him away.

"Don't," he said simply to Reno. I blinked, touching my hand to my lips.

"A kiss..." I murmured. " I like that." Reno burst out laughing, but Rude cut him short with a threat to tell Tseng. I then asked why it was bad to kiss, since it felt so nice, and I was promptly pushed into a car seat.


End file.
